Mickey, Audrey and Sara Bloomberg visiting Erwin

Imagine looking directly at a loved one, a person that you have loved for decades, and having that person look back at you with a blank stare. That person doesn’t recognize you. They don’t remember the special or hallmark moments like when your children were born. Their mind has faded away and is continuing to do so. That is the reality for Mickey Bloomberg when she looks into her husband Erwin’s eyes. At the young age of 59 he was diagnosed with frontotemporal lobe dementia that leads to Alzheimer’s. For the past year of his life he has lived in a home for seniors despite being by far the youngest person there.

Mickey and her daughters, Audrey and Sara, have had a lot to learn and accept since Erwin was diagnosed. At the time Audrey lived out of state and was unable to attend the support group that her mother and sister had started attending. It was very difficult on her to not be close. Eventually she would move back home and start a new job. By relying on each other the three Bloomberg women found strength. Mickey has been credited by her daughters for keeping them together through this very difficult and life-altering event.

We sat down and had a candid discussion with the three ladies about what this has been like for the family. It is truly remarkable to see how they have bonded and help each other with knowing that Erwin just is not himself anymore. The harsh reality is, it will only become worse. Sara mentioned that she has “accepted that it will not get better.”

We went with them to visit Erwin. Mickey and her life companion and dear friend played a few games of checkers and Erwin was locked in. “I’d say of all the times that they’ve played, dad has won like 12 out of 13,” Audrey said. His blank stare is one of complete concentration on the task at hand. It was about 6 months ago that Erwin stopped talking. So now it’s up to interpretation by the loved ones to understand what he is thinking.

Watching the family together it puts the frailty of life into perspective. As we grow older we never know what may happen. In this instance, Mickey had to reinvent her role as a wife for her husband and to be strong for her daughters. At 60 she never imagined that she would have to witness her husband’s mind drift away. She remains strong. She will visit him often, always looking forward to that next game of checkers.